I wanted to divorce my husband

I used to love my husband very much because he is religious and well-mannered. Thanks to Allah, he does not do anything that makes me angry, always keen to please me, and exert all his best to make me happy. Hence, life was quiet and calm, and nothing disturbed its atmosphere except for some minor differences and little problems which always pass peacefully every time.

One day I found my husband busy-minded and unlike his normal condition. He was worried and thinking all the time, so I thought he is busy with one of the bargains his company was concluding, as he worked in one of the biggest companies. However, I noticed some actions and behavior which he wanted to hide from me, such as: Not telling me what bothers him nor narrates to me what is going on or what worries him, or even complains about his work.

I always wondered: What is the story? And what is the reason for that change in his behavior? It is worth mentioning that he did not oppress me or treat me badly or nervously, but he was thinking a lot and keeping silent much which was killing and worrying me.

One day I found him upset and wanted to talk to me, and I felt that he was concernedbecause he closed the door of the room quietly and started talking.

He said: My beloved wife, you are my sweetheart and my life mate. You are my life partner but I shall marry another woman not because you are negligent or because I do not like you; my Lord knows how dear you are to me but there are causes and conditions push me to do so.

I was stunned at his speech and his weird thinking. I yelled at him like an erupting volcano and looked at him in maze. I started to shout unlike my habit, tears flew down my cheeks like falls, and I started to cry and complain of my conditions saying: What kind of reasons that make you marry another as long as you love me?

What is this weird speech, and why is this cunning?

Am I a little girl to trick me by these words?

He did not give up his calmness and wisdom, and said:

I shall marry my relative whose husband died and left her alone. I have some feelings for her and I would like to marry her, moreover, I promise not to oppress you and I shall do my best to equate between you.

I yelled at him again and could not control myself and started to ask him: 

Have I neglected your rights? I preserved your money, honor, and home; is not it? He answered: Yes.

I said to him: If you intend to do so, you have to divorce me first. Then I went to my parents’ house waiting for his reply perhaps he would go back to his senses. He sent some messages and came to me to bring me back but I refused to go back without a condition which is to give up this idea and go back to his senses; however, he refused. Then my father advised me to satisfy with my destiny, but I did not give up my condition and gave him choice to divorce me simply or I shall resort to court for Khul` (divorcing one’s wife in return of money (which she pays)), then he agreed and divorced me as I asked.

Days have passed and my father died while he was in pain because of my condition. No one proposed to me because the look of the society to the divorced women and the look to the people who marry two wives which made men think irrationally. They get away from the Shari`ah for pleasing people and old traditions, except those who want to marry me secretly behind their wives’ back, or someone who wanted to take the apartment after my father’s death because his marriage to me will not cost him anything. Someday a man of low manners wanted to marry me because of many reasons, chastity is not one of them.

I felt that I wronged myself by asking for divorce, and I want to put the problem of divorced wives into discussion to show their physical and financial needs and how to deal with that case which have become a big and dangerous problem. One day a well-mannered man proposed to me saying: You shall be my second wife, for I love my first wife, and I am able to equate between you two, so think about it, and I shall be happy if you agree.

I said to myself: A believing woman always feels satisfied with fate and destiny and is convinced with the Prophet’s saying: “How wonderful is the case of a believer; there is good for him in everything and this applies only to a believer. If prosperity attends him, he expresses gratitude to Allah and that is good for him; and if adversity befalls him, he endures it patiently and that is better for him.”

I said: By Allah, this is my last chance, days have passed, I became alone, and I recalled my father looking at me and saying: “Dear daughter, do you agree today to the thing you refused in the past?”